Fellow citizens, I’ve decided to run in the next election. I want to make a difference. I want to give back, and improve this site.

Unfortunately, I had difficulty deciding which position was best suited to my particular skill-set – which one would afford me the best opportunity to give back to the community.

Therefore, I have decided to fully exercise my democratic rights, and run for every possible position in the coming election. I hereby announce my candidacy for the following positions: Minister of Discussion, Minister of Sound, Minister of Film Rating, Minister of Community Projects, Minister of Film Contests, Minister of Information, Minister of Filming Resources, and Minister of Broadcasting. In case you lost count, that’s a total of 8 very important positions.

Please take the time to read my stance on these positions, and the ideas that I’d like to implement.

Minister of Discussion
It might seem odd that I’m running for this position, since I support Cometgreen (and am, to my knowledge, his unofficial campaign advisor), but you’re not the boss of me. Actually, if we’re being technical, Cometgreen is, since I’m still receiving backdoor payments from his office.

As the incumbent, Cometgreen might seem to be the forerunner in the race. He and mrgraff are far too similar in approach for my tastes, and I feel that the people of brickfilms deserve a different option. I want the voters to understand that we differ, and in what ways we do. For example, if you want an MOD who is honest and studious, then by all means, vote for Cometgreen. But if you’re like me, you want someone who’s a lazy, dishonest scoundrel, then I’m your man.

I will revel in bribery and flattery, show extreme amounts of favoritism, and either do nothing, or get others to do things on my behalf. These “others” will be selected either arbitrarily, or based on the bribery and flattery mentioned earlier. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

Minister of Sound
Not enough is going on in this important section. Legal wrangling and bureaucratic red tape are bunging up all hope of progress. Last I heard, Chosen1 had added 10 sounds to the library. There are some strong whisperings that he’s been licensing and selling the music on the side to support an eye-shadow addiction. I’m not saying it’s true, I’m just saying it.

What will I do? It’s pretty simple. I’ll get sounds put into the sound library. Let’s keep it simple, and get things done. No need to reinvent the wheel.

Minister of Film Rating
I want to acknowledge firstly that my competitor, Ladon, has an excellent plan he wants to implement. It’s a plan that I wholeheartedly support, and that I do not wish to change. I’m not going to plagiarize it from him, or make minor modifications. In fact, if elected for this position, I will simply appoint Ladon as my under-minister, and have him implement his plan as he sees fit. The only difference is that I will beat his rear into submission, and get that plan done sooner, and not later.

You see, a logical voter will realize that s vote for Ladon gets you Ladon’s plan, but a vote for me get’s you Ladon’s plan sooner. I think the choice is clear.

Minister of Community Projects
I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen an official community project lately. It appears that the fat-cats who currently hold this position are just in it for the glory and prestige. Do you want a community project? I sure do, but Lech just isn’t dishing out the goods. Does he hate the community? Possibly. I don’t know the man personally. Do you?

Minister of Film Contests
With Richard stepping down from this position, it’s really wide-open. I have to admit that the man had a knack for creating acronyms, and he definitely gave us a number of contests. In fact, he gave us too many contests. We were flooded ‘em. That decreases the overall effectiveness of having contests in the first place, and I suspect that support for our major contests might be hurt as a result. If I was elected for this position, I would make contests rarer, but I’d make them more spectacular, so that we can get some solid competition, and some serious quality, like we used to.

People need to get excited about contests again, and I’m eager to get them there.

Oh, and we also need more corporate sponsors. I would want my first contest to involve Axe body spray, McDonald’s, and some kind of blender/juicer. Let’s tentatively call it the McAxe Effect: Blended to the Max.

Minister of Information
I think this department is being run very well right now. The future film changes like clockwork, and announcements are pertinent and regular. Therefore, I’d like to emulate my plan for the Minister of Film Rating position, and say that if I win, I will keep the current minister, KG, and his under-ministers doing what they’re doing now.

The only difference between this and my Film Ratings plan is that I don’t offer any apparent benefit in this arrangement. Only I do. Please read the section entitled “The Watson Advantage: A Synergistic Alternative Approach to Modern Geopolitical Stratagem” below for further information.

Minister of Filming Resources
If there’s anything that I want to get across with regards to this position, it’s that I have l33t coding skills. I have mad l33t coding skills like you and your homeboys wouldn’t believe. If there is one thing that this position requires above all else, it’s raging, psychotic, out-of-this-world coding skills. So to summarize, I have the baddest, meanest, most wild, balls-to-the-wall coding skills of anyone on the planet. Word.

Specifically, I’ll slap this SOB with a strong mix of php, J2ME-based ajax, and other HOLs with a mySQL b/e. A base of standards-compliant XHTML will be decorated with VML, XML, XBL, and XSL. Suck on that, l33tless masses.

To put it in layman’s terms (or, more accurately, lame-man’s terms), my proposal is to simply integrate the resources page into the Wiki. I think the wiki is one of the most fabulous things we’ve ever done, and it needs way more emphasis. Centralizing all of our information in one place encourages contributions to the wiki, and having the resources page on there also works to increase its exposure.

I am the only candidate capable of doing this, because I am the only one with the mad-crazy skills needed to make it happen.

Minister of Broadcasting
We were forced to switch servers partly so that we could better support the podcast. Then Pierre ditched us and left the podcast to die. I won’t ditch the podcast. I have a vested interest in it. My film is on there.

Firstly, I would stop playing favourites, and call it the brickfilms webcast like nature intended. Also, release it in alternative formats so that everyone can enjoy it. Films should also be specially enhanced so that regular brickfilmers can get something out of it too. Most importantly, I’d work to release a film that is fitting for the general public at a regular pace. It’s not complicated. Again, everything is set up, we just have to do it.

So that’s what I want to do. You might wonder what advantage there is in electing me for more than one position (or, as I would like, for every position). Some nay-sayers might even claim that such a large role would undermine my ability to give adequate attention to each area. That is simply not the case. In fact, holding more than one position would provide an advantage to the voters, as I will now highlight.

The Watson Advantage: A Synergistic Alternative Approach to Modern Geopolitical Stratagem
If I were elected to multiple positions, it is essentially equivalent to merging those positions into one. In many cases, this will allow for juicy, synergistic energies to flow through these departments, making them stronger and manlier.

For example, say that I was voted minister of resources and that Schlaeps decided to also hand over Minister of Truth to me (Note to Schlaeps: Do it.). I would then be in a prime position to implement my plan of merging these two areas into one. Similarly, if I were the Minister of Information and the Minister of Broadcasting, I would simply release each month’s featured film in the podcast, since both are selected to be good for the general public. If I were the minister of film contests and the minister of community projects, I might see fit to turn a community project into an official competition.

Indeed, if I were elected for every position, I’d be in an ideal position as minister of information, as I’d be on top of all the goings on in the community, and would be well-suited to report on things as they occurred.

Electing me for several positions allows for better interoperability between these positions. The effect is linear, if not exponential. With each additional department that I head up, further benefits are derived.

Conclusion
Of course, in order to achieve my noble goals, I will need your support. Therefore, I urge you to support my candidacy by seconding my nomination in for the positions in which you believe I will be best suited (ie, all of them).

If you are not yet satisfied with me, and have concerns, questions, comments, or anything else to add/ask, please don’t hesitate to do so. I want to clear up every possible point of confusion, and make my stance on every issue clear. Please be thorough in your questioning, and I will endeavor to be thorough in my response.

Talk to me. Let’s start a dialogue. I’m flexible, and open to suggestion. I want to improve things. Let’s get it done together, and put and end to the do-nothing approach that some of our leaders have taken.

Thank you,
Watson